Ask the family to check the eulogy beforehand

After meeting the family or friends, and talking about their loved one, ministers are often asked to write and sometimes a eulogy (or tribute) on the family’s behalf. This can be really difficult to get right, especially if there are fractures within the family. A good way of ensuring that you have the correct facts, and avoid causing any offence on the day, is to share the eulogy with the family in advance of the funeral taking place. This could be done in person, or by email. As well as checking for accuracy, it enables the family to check that they have included all that they wish to, and provides them an opportunity to add other things which they may not have thought of at the time of the discussion. If you can’t visit in person, or send an email, you can always send a hard copy and follow it up with a telephone conversation.

Either way, I usually send a copy of the eulogy in hard copy form in the days after the funeral which families often tell me they really appreciated. I would include a copy of any Bible readings and/or poems that were read out at the service also.

Rev Chris Burr